
Starting a new relationship is a brilliant journey, filled with infinite and exciting possibilities.
It can also be a minefield of explosive narcissists and psychopaths.
It's a time when old patterns and habits resurface with a vengeance which can completely knock the wind out of any individual, because deep emotions and patterns are triggered. As a transformative coach, I help these individuals navigate their lives and relationships with awareness, grace and focused intention.
Here are my top 10 tips for fostering a healthy, thriving relationship from the very beginning.
1. Cut the Bullshit
Communication is the foundation of any relationship. Being open about your feelings, YOUR REAL ONES, your desires, and your concerns is paramount to finding the right person for YOU! Bullshitting your way through a “honeymoon period” won’t do either of you any favours. By not being honest about the good, bad and ugly, you’re only delaying inevitable friction. Establish a habit of discussing things openly to build trust and understanding from the get-go and don't be afraid to express your needs while you actively listen to your partner's.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for maintaining individuality and respect within a relationship, no matter how close you want to get with your partner. Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not, not with conflict, but with compassion and understanding that it may take you a couple of go’s to get it right. Once these boundaries are understood by both parties, ensure both of you honour them strictly. This will prevent misunderstandings and foster mutual respect for each other.
3. Practice Self-Love
Loving yourself is crucial before you can fully love someone else. I’m going to say this again.. LOVING YOURSELF IS CRUCIAL, BEFORE you can fully love someone else! Take the time to explore yourself, engage in activities that make YOU happy. Leave the distraction of dating apps alone and invest that time in loving yourself! Remember, a healthy relationship starts with a healthy you. If you don’t know where to start on this one (I didn’t either), sign up to my free masterclass here.
4. Embrace Vulnerability
Vulnerability is not a dirty word. It’s actually a strength, not a weakness. However, unless you have embraced yourself fully, as I was discussing above, vulnerability can lead to fear and shame. Sharing those fears, dreams, and insecurities with your partner can deepen your connection and strengthen your bond. And if you can’t - are they REALLY the right one for you? Sharing will foster intimacy together, and shows your partner that you trust them with your most authentic self - If you want to be holistically loved, this is incredibly necessary to have.
5. Manage Expectations
Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and conflict. Have your preferences sure, but understand that they may not always get it right because every single one of us is human. Have realistic expectations about what your partner can give you, and the relationship. Have the same understanding of yourself. Understand that flaws and imperfections are always present and decide to love yourselves anyway. Embrace imperfections as part of your journey and unless there’s a conscious pattern of abuse, it’s cool to let the small things slide.
6. Invest Your Time & Appreciate Each Other
Read this twice - APPRECIATE YOUR PARTNER!! Relationships end when appreciation dies. So make a conscious choice to appreciate your partner. If you can’t appreciate who they are in your life, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. The same rules apply if they aren’t appreciating you. Spending quality time together strengthens your bond. Engaging in activities that you both enjoy, create new memories, and makes your time together worth it! If you can’t invest time and effort in your partner, break it off and stay single until you can.
7. Don’t Take Things Personally
Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but it's how you handle them that matters. Approach disagreements with a problem-solving mindset rather than a confrontational one. Not everything is about you! Your partner may have had a bad day, be feeling unloved, irritated, frustrated or sad, so leave the judgement at the door and be curious! Practise active listening, empathy, and compromise in discussing their feelings, without taking them on as your own. Life is hard enough all ready, your relationship shouldn’t be a battlefield.
8. Celebrate Each Other's Successes
This is HUGE in a relationship of any kind. Supporting and celebrating each other’s achievements, no matter how big or small they are, will boost your partner’s confidence and happiness. Be each other’s biggest cheerleaders and create a supportive environment for each other. Some of the most rapid and effective growth is due to partners supporting each other. Be on the same team, align your goals and values together, and watch your success skyrocket as a result.
9. Know Who You Are & Do What You Say
This is the BIGGEST foundation of trust in any successful relationship I've come across. It’s also the biggest killer of trust if it’s not adhered to very strictly. To trust your partner you need two things: to know who they are, and trust in their word. Never lose sight of who you are in a relationship. Maintain your interests, friendships, and passions and allow your partner to do the same. A strong relationship is built on two individuals who know, choose and support each other. Keeping secrets, telling white lies, withholding information or not keeping your word, is the quickest way to kiss your partner goodbye.
10. Seek Professional Guidance
Now this all sounds fabulous, but have you ever tried to do all of that yourself? Let me assure you, you’re going to fuck up! Old patterns or unresolved issues will begin to surface eventually if you’ve not done any conscious work to resolve them. Whe this happens, seek professional help! I’m not talking about spending your life in a psychologist’s office.
A transformative coach will provide you with tools and insights to break free from negative patterns and build a healthy relationship FAST! To achieve positive change in love, finance, career growth, and family life fast - click here for 1:1 options and put your issues to bed so you can focus on your cardio!
If the above makes sense, you’re ready to break old patterns and create a new and thriving partnership - Visit my website or book a call and discover my comprehensive range of programs designed to help you on your journey.
Life’s too short to have bad sex.
Create the life and relationship you deserve!
Until next time…
All my love,
Courtenay x
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