An Open Letter to the High-Functioning and Hollow...

You’ve mastered control… That’s how you survived, isn’t it?

You learned early that being wanted wasn’t the same as being known…

That intimacy came with a cost, and that attention wasn’t affection - it was currency - Something to be used, manipulated and leveraged for a cause. 

It’s ok.

You adapted didn’t you... 

You got sharper, faster, and more focused… 

You figured out how to anticipate every room, every motive, every move and you mastered the game that few know is even being played. 

And now you’re here…

Respected. Desired. Untouchable... But unreachable.

It’s ok.

Because the truth is, most people don’t understand the price you’ve paid to keep it all together.

And fewer still know how to meet you where you are, without wanting something from you.

So you do what you’ve always done:

You compartmentalise. You handle it. You stay a step ahead.

But even then…

The joy is gone.

The drive feels different.

And when the ‘connection’ comes, it feels forced, hollow… Performative and exhausting.

You’re not alone where you are...

You’re not broken.

You’re just tired of being everything to everyone, while no one sees who YOU are…

It’s ok.

Because when you’ve spent a lifetime being driven, powerful, capable, and focused on function - being seen becomes a fundamental risk…

So instead of slowing down - you speed up!

.Instead of opening authentically - you outsource.

Instead of trusting - you deflect and distract.

You fill the quiet with noise…

Beautiful noise, expensive noise, high-functioning noise… but it’s all still noise.

And despite silk-blend sheets, melatonin patches and your night-cap of smooth Macallan - You find yourself lying awake at night thinking:

“I should feel better than this”

“Literally no-one gets it”

“Why do I keep choosing the wrong people?”

“Why does this keep happening?”

“How much will I lose in the divorce”

“S/He’s only here for the money.”

“I’m never going to meet anyone”

“I am going to die alone…”

It’s ok.

Because here’s the truth that no one’s told you:

You’ve been leading in survival mode for so long, you’ve forgotten what it feels like to actually LIVE.

What it feels like to genuinely love and be loved.

Some may not ever have experienced those feelings.

It’s ok.

But it’s no way to live when there’s more you deserve.

And before you can change, you need to understand…

You learned what you did because you didn’t know better. 

You experienced what you have because those around you were doing the best they could with what they had. 

They may have missed the mark with you - as you may have in your relationships.

That’s ok too.

But how long will you give it until you try an alternative…?

Days, Weeks, Months, Years…? 

Another date, another relationship, another marriage, another divorce...

If you are thinking about the above when you’re alone… Know this:

You don’t need more Stimulation, Distraction or Delusion.

You need Space. Safety and Authentic Precision.

You don’t need another date, counsellor or therapy session. 

You need to return to who you are. 

The you that’s been waiting, beneath all the armour, praying that someone will GET it one day. Because armour may have protected you then, but it’s costing you everything you want to feel now. Your armour is what’s keeping you from everything you say you want…

Pleasure. Peace. Clarity. Connection.

Regular Joy and Freedom in your life. 

And the ability to walk into any room… boardroom or bedroom, and not feel like you’re performing in either…

That is the next level - And not everyone gets there.

Because getting there requires something the world rarely offers…

A space where you’re not being sold, seduced, or studied.

A space where your nervous system can finally let go.

A space where you’re held - without being handled.

A space to return to who you are - before survival dictated what you ultimately became...

A place to be authentically discovered and respected. 

Behind the scenes - away from the cameras, the corruption and the leverage you lament. 

Not a therapist's office where ‘problems’ are re-lived, scrutinised and medicated away.

But permission to unveil and re-build the parts of yourself that were collateral damage in the pursuit of more.

A place to unravel and re-set with dignity in private.

And build a future you can enjoy wholeheartedly. 

That is what’s possible… here with me. 

Because when true love eludes you, despite your success. 

When peace becomes the thing money can’t buy.

When another relationship grows cold and distant - costing more time, love, money and sanity.

It’s time to stop managing the symptoms and address the causation…

You won’t lose your edge.

You’ll stop cutting yourself with it.

Step into peace, pleasure, joy and yourself.

You're ready to enjoy your life and you know where to find me....

With all my love,

Courtenay x

www.courtenaydubois.com